spring break was dull, i was sick the majority of the time and then all i did was finish a photoshoot and hang out with tia. i'm getting a haircut this week though, and i don't know what i want to do with my hair! dyeing it darker, but i want it shorter and styled differently. time to google hairstyles!
oh, and i finally got my books in the mail, poems by both buddy wakefield and sierra demulder, two slam poets i love, both of whom i've seen live. (i am always afraid to say whom, i never know if i'm using it right...) and i've been re-reading an older book of slam poetry i got at my first slam, the pornography diaries by sean patrick conlon. he's still my favorite slam poet ever, his words have so much truth and depth to them. anyhow, i recommend that you youtube their performances and read their poetry because the whole three of them are fantastic. and they inspired me to write a little poem of my own, so without further ado, here is "amy":
amy, i can only see the outlines of your eyes hollow blanks where orbs once orbited you were the sun we revolved around.
you were so full of life, even in death i could sense your smile like a shadow blocking rays of sunlight from tanning my back --a little cooler than the rest of me.
the morticians painted your nails deep blue i wonder if they knew it was your favorite color, or a lucky guess. your family was too afraid to speak in sign language to strangers.
and those hands that said so much, more than any mouth ever could will never move on their own again. arranged so delicately across your heart
that fails to pump blood into this body, this cage, i am not my cage, you said, my body is a cage and i am not my cage. now, i can't see the spots where your
auburn hair no longer covered. i always told you how jealous i was, that your hair was so beautiful in clumsy, fumbling gestures.
your eyes danced as you laughed, silently, though you always laughed so much. those eyes that you gave away, that worked so perfectly even though your voice and ears couldn't.
those eyes outlined by deep, dark blue like two moons orbiting your mars-red hair phobos and deimos.
and here is a video of sierra demulder performing my favorite poem of hers, werewolf:
not much to report on, just felt like blabbering for a bit...
it's spring break finally, friday just dragged on and on but then madeline and trisha and i watched tangled after school, which was fun. and this morning i woke up with a fever, which is a fantastic way to start break! ugh, well at least i'm not using up sick days for this (second semester seniors are only allowed 5 sick days and i've already used one).
anyhow, you know that guy i posted about a few days ago? well, i've always been one for signs and such and the signs that this little ~love connection~ will happen are abundant. and i'm praying and wishing and hoping it does. my god, i'm turning into a mushy little hopeless romantic sap. iuldhflis how is it possible to start to like someone so fast without having had a meaningful conversation before with them?! i mean, sure, i know lots about him from his sister, but jeez. i'm starting to have dreams about him!
well, i was originally going to talk about how sick i am of all my classmates and how i can't wait for school to end but at the same time it's a ~scary adult world~ out there waiting for me but i'm not much in the mood for that anymore. instead i'm going to make a mini-playlist of my week.
~val's week playlist for the week of march 13-19~
1. stars - barcelona
2. jesus - page france
3. something that i want - grace potter
4. around the bend - the asteroids galaxy tour
5. england - the national
6. boston - augustana
7. slide - goo goo dolls
8. don't hold back - the potbelleez
9. jefferson aeroplane (demo version) - relient k
10. swing life away - rise against
11. we used to wait - the arcade fire
12. futile devices - sufjan stevens
here's a youtube playlist of it, minus jefferson aeroplane, because the demo version is nowhere to be found on youtube. look for it elsewhere, it's so good!
i would also like to thank kylie for the nice comment on my last post :) i will definitely be trying to go for it once break ends!!
just one more day to go. then i have spring break!
today felt like a friday. so many awesome things happened. talked a ton to michelle in the darkroom today and managed to crank out 3 perfect prints, and we're critiquing tomorrow. I LOVE CRITIQUES. working on revamping existing company logos in commercial design, and gym was so much fun today. we got to bring in guests so katrina and i called up bo, who had an off period (she's a freshman in college and is my friend from gym last year) and she did the entire high ropes course even though she was terrified and i felt like a proud mother when she finally came back to the ground. :') and then she came to lunch with my group of friends, and cute kid K saw me as i was leaving gym and called out to me and yeah oljsdjfs he's such a cutie.
then in study hall the greatest thing of all great things happened, this kid who i kind of am in love with even though we've never formally met and he's one of my good friends' brother and stuff sat next to me at the computer bank in study hall. my friend is a sophomore but he's my age although we've never had a class together, and he's seen me roaming about in his house with her and we see each other in the hallway almost 7 times a day, so he has to have at least a foggy idea of who i am. do you ever get that feeling that someone who you always see around is supposed to be a part of your life someday? and that they'll be a big part? well, that's what struck me when i saw him for the first time. i don't know, i have this weird feeling about him. and whenever i see him in the halls i always start to work up the nerve to say something like, "hey, i'm friends with your sister!" then as soon as i gather enough courage to actually open my mouth it all vanishes. one of my lunch group friends has a thing for him too, but she has a boyfriend, so. anyhow, he sat next to me, and my heart was pounding and it was really embarassing even though i know no one could hear it, and i just kept looking at him out of the corner of my eye. he's left handed and has the most beautiful profile of any person ever. and he hiccuped once and it was the cutest thing ever. i glanced at his computer once and he was playing a rocketship-outer-space-computer-game and i chortled, because his sister told me that he's always wanted to be an astronaut and i know he's going into aerospace engineering or something like that. then, he sneezed and without hesitation i just said, "bless you" and he said "thank you" and my god, his voice. there could be no better sound. i swear, i'm practically in love with this kid and i only know stuff about him because of his sister (i mean, he's also the star athlete at our school and kind of a super-genius and gorgeous, so everyone knows a little about him, but he's also completely asocial and kind of has a hatred of human beings--something i think we can bond over, haha).
i feel like he sat next to me because he wanted to be next to me, because pretty much every seat at the computer bank was open--but that could be just wishful thinking. i just feel like he's going to be a big part of my life, you know? and it's not like i'm going out of my way to know him or anything, it's all happening of its own accord. which is what i want to happen in a relationship, and i'm not even looking for one right now, i'm happy single for maybe the first time in my life; but i can't deny that i feel something for him and that it could probably go somewhere if we actually got on, oh i dunno, speaking terms. but i'll have to see how it all plays out. there's only around two months left of school anyway, and then he'll be going to college on the east coast whereas i'm most likely staying here for community college for a year or two. which kind of sucks, but. i kind of hope something happens. i always fall for strangers, but he's not too strange and i know enough about him to think he's interesting. i want to get to know him better. so, we'll see what happens. i'll keep updated.
song of the day (it was going to be jefferson aeroplane, demo version, but i couldn't find it. so curl up and die will do. god, i love relient k).
whenever i'm watching a film and i get a strong sense of what one of the characters is like, i can imagine their scent. it's less imagining and more that i can actually smell them, but i know it isn't real. this never happens when i read a book, though, it's just movies. maybe because i love the smell of books enough to begin with. some prime examples of this strange phenomenon are tony stark from iron man, and sherlock holmes from the movie of the same name. they're both the strongest to me and oddly enough, they're both played by robert downey jr. i'm still trying to figure out if that's a coincidence or not...
and though i've been watching doctor who for months, almost a year (i started so late...) i have never been able to "smell" the doctor. there aren't many characters whom i can smell, but since the doctor's quirky, persistent personality is so constant, you'd have though i'd have been able to figure out his scent by now. but it hasn't been until now, after watching 2.3 (gridlock) that i've been able to figure out his scent. and it's so strangely human--although there's something that ties it all together that i can't quite name.
the doctor smells like the rubber of new sneakers. he smells like bread baking in an oven and that scent on your fingers after holding something metal. he smells like secondhand books and there's a little cinnamon that you can barely breathe in. there's the faint smell of marshmallows and kettle corn, and the even fainter of damp laundry. the doctor smells like an unscented burning candle and a little like my dad's shampoo. but there's one last thing, something i can't quite name, that seems almost otherworldly, that i'd never be able to place. and that's probably the truest scent to him of all. of those scents, blended together, the strongest of them is this one. but it makes sense--he's not human after all, who said he has to smell like one? this scent is time lord, there's no other way of describing it.
it takes a really strong character for me to conjure up a scent of them (and i don't even know how or why my brain does that--i'm thinking it may be my synesthesia being weird), but no scent has ever been as strong as the doctor's. it just goes to show that after spending so much time with the doctor, in his world, he's finally allowed me to get a better sense of him, more than the one i decipher from images and sound. once i catch a character's perfume, i never let it go and it just makes my understanding of that person that much stronger. with the doctor, it's no different, but it is increased tenfold. i don't know exactly why this odd occurrence happens, or why it happens with the characters it does. but it's always interesting to see who stands out the most to me and what exactly they smell like (sherlock smells like blueberries, the inside of a violin case, my grandparents' house, and rain in the city). it makes watching movies (or television, now, for that matter) so much more fun and it gives me a better insight to a character, for whatever reason. i'm intrigued by this odd talent of mine, and i figured it was probably time that i write about it.
also, for the song of the day, i thought i'd give it a doctor who theme to complete my post ;)
oh boy, i just finished reading this book. i read it all weekend and i fell in love over the course of it. it was fantastic. i'm going to give a little review, if i can manage to find the words.
anna and the french kiss is not the typical YA "chick-lit" (god, i hate that word) novel you might make it out to be. a summary would seem cliche enough to fit this genre: anna oliphant is a girl from atlanta entering her senior year of high school, in paris. her dad ships her off to experience culture and the like, and anna isn't thrilled. back home, she has an almost-boyfriend, best friend, and little brother. but when she gets there and meets etienne st. clair, she falls almost insantly for him. he's british, beautiful, (afraid of heights,) and has a serious girlfriend. ~but in the city of light, wishes can come true~ and all that. you know there's gonna be a happy ending. and there is. but it's so much better than that.
right there on the front page, i know i'll enjoy this book. the mention of films like moulin rouge! and amelie and even madeline assured me that i would not be disappointed with the rest of the book. i think nearly any girl can relate to anna, what she says, her fears and loves and the voice stephanie perkins gives her narrator is flawless. i feel like if i were placed in anna's situation, i would be having those exact same thoughts. it's impeccable.
the novel is rich in details, like the beautiful views of the streets of paris and the smell of the bakery one busy afternoon. if i wanderlusted for paris before, it's nothing compared to now. as anna becomes best friends with st. clair, her secret love for him is contagious. i want an etienne of my own! the thing i liked most about the romance, though, is that it wasn't love at first sight, really. i mean, it was--but they were friends first. best friends. and that's the kind of relationship i, and probably most other teenage girls, would like to have. anna is so relatable, and to such a wide audience of girls. i'm no film critic nerd, but if anna were real, we could definitely be best friends. anna's other friends, and bully, are so, just, PERFECT that the characters practically seem real. these people could really exist, and i know people who do exist who are just like them. it's this eye to detail that makes the book so flawless.
of course, there's drama throughout the novel, of course. anna returns home for winter break and finds out her almost-boyfriend and so-called best friend are not what they add up to be. etienne's mother gets cancer and his dad is a total asshole. anna's friend meredith likes st. clair right along there with anna. and, of course, there's etienne's stupid girlfriend, who he's been fighting with for months but neither can bring themselves to dump the other. oh, and we can't forget that horrible bully girl, amanda, who teases anna relentlessly because she, too, likes st. clair. it's a bit ridiculous, how cliche this all sounds--but perkins handles it with such care and grace that you're swept up in the midst of it all and it consumes your thoughts when you're not reading, right alongside anna through the rough times.
and, of course, there is the predictable happy ending. anna and etienne end up together, finally, finally (you are itching for them to kiss the entire time. the entire time. all you will want is for them to end up together, and thankfully, they do) they are. i know what you're thinking, cliche cliche cliche, but it's such a fun, easy, delightful read that you won't even notice. the ending is probably the best part, at least that's my immediate reaction. throughout the novel, anna struggles with the idea of home--first atlanta was her home, but when she returns and nothing is quite like how she left it, paris becomes her home. and then she realizes, finally, at the end, that home is not a place--it's a person. and she has found her home with st. clair, who will be going to school in san francisco with her next year. a new city, but home all the same. and the end just leaves you feeling so whole and happy that it's impossible to deny that this is a good, no, fantastic book.
oh, also--the entire time i read the book i couldn't help but imagine alexander rybak as etienne! there was just something about him that made me envision that. and i've been looking at some fanmade graphics for the book, and i have to say, people out there have fantastic taste. if anna were ever to be made into a movie--and if they did it right and it earned favor in miss ophilant's eyes, i think it could be brilliant--i think aaron johnson and leighton meester could be a great etienne and anna. although, personally, the girl on the cover of the book is exactly how i would want anna to look. is she an actress? she should be. because if this were to be done right in hollywood, she would be perfect for the job.
oh, and here is my song of the day--i've been listening to it the whole time i've been writing this.
